Ugh.

Thursday is not a good day to be playing MLB DFS.

Four games in the early slate, five games in the late slate. I wish it would’ve all been open so I could concentrate all of my time Wednesday to Open Championship lineups.

But if you need your DFS fix, I am here to serve you.

I am concentrating only on the evening slate, but there’s really only one place I am going for bats, so I am all in on this edition.

Time to play the game…

Madison Bumgarner – SP – San Francisco Giants – $11,800

Analysis: Because I don’t like this slate much, we are going with some random gifs today based on mnemonic devices. Madison Bumgarner is MaddyB to me and thus gets the MattyBRaps gif. If you don’t know MattyBRaps, go YouTube him, you won’t be disappointed. Appalled? Probably. Anyway, Bumgarner seems to struggle with the Padres of late, He’s given up 5 ER in two starts this season while striking out less than a batter per inning. But I don’t care. It’s the Padres, Bumgarner is at home and the Padres are still the Padres. I am all in.

Brandon McCarthy – SP – Los Angeles Dodgers – $6,600

Analysis: Brandon McCarthy is B-Mac, which is close to Big Mac, so here’s a gif of molten metal heating up a Big Mac while bouncing off of the bun entirely. Yea, we eat this stuff, folks. McCarthy gets a game back home taking on the Braves, who could be without Freddie Freeman. The Braves are trash outside of….well, they are just trash. They don’t strike out a lot, but McCarthy is the cheapest pitching option available and I am not playing Wade Miley.

Corey Seager – SS – Los Angeles Dodgers – $5,000

Analysis: Couldn’t think of a nifty, shortened version of his name, so I Googled Seager and there was this gif embedded with Kyle and Corey Seager gifs. Boy Meets World was one of the greatest shows of my youth. Seager meets Mike Folynewicz, who is still just a boy in the majors. Folty is a guy that gives up all kinds of power and hits to lefties, and the Dodgers are the best National League offense on this slate. Seager’s price is steep, but he’s heating up right now with hits in four of his last five.

Cody Bellinger – 1B /OF – Los Angeles Dodgers – $5,400

Analysis: Cody Bellinger’s name reduces to CB therefore Chris Rock gangsta satire flick C.B. 40 comes to mind. You see a theme and where i am going all in on right? Yea, that Dodgers. Bellinger is in beast mode in his rookie season, and warrants a costly price tag tonight. When you are going all in on a Dodgers’ stack, you don’t worry about the price tag. I will be playing Bellinger at 1st, not OF because I hate the 1B options on this late slate.

Brett Gardner – OF – New York Yankees – $4,500

Analysis: Finding a gif here was way too easy. King Felix isn’t King Felix anymore, and you could make the case for Brett Gardner too I guess, but this is strictly a BvP play for me. Against the former King of the North, Gardner is 12-for-33 with 2 doubles, 6 walks and 3 steals. The price is up for Gardner, so he’s a great tournament option in your (my) Dodger stacks.

Yasmani Grandal – C – Los Angeles Dodgers – $3,600

Analysis: All Yasmani does is print you money in DFS when he faces a hard-throwing lefty. He’s priced up a bit, but won’t break your bank. Gary Sanchez will make a great case to be in some of my lineups, but for the most part, Grandal will be my catcher of choice. If you need more Dodgers’ stack options, I suggest going for some Joc Jamz and/or Justin Turner. It’s a Dodgers night for me.